A Blog of One's Own

I started this blog as a way to share my original work and connect with potential readers; a sort of virtual open kitchen to tell my stories to any internet-surfer passerby. I imagined furiously writing a short story each week coupled with a fresh blog post cleverly detailing the process of writing it with three children underfoot. Ha ha! My idealism makes me delusional sometimes. I struggle enough with having time to pee alone. Who was I kidding? For physical evidence, see the photo below of my kids overtaking my writing desk.

As time marches on however, I find this space evolving into a travelogue: documenting my personal journey in search for the writer and mother I want to be. It's become a focus on the process rather than the end product. In plainest terms, it's a journal.

Besides an intuitive change of course, the purpose of this blog has also shifted because I decided it would be nice to be paid for my work. I will not share my fiction on here anymore for the hopes of one day being published.

I had no intention when I first started this blog to write personal essays on my life. I wanted to keep myself at a distance and let my original stories speak for themselves. I don't see myself as a fascinating subject and I'm always anxious with social media not to veer toward the narcissistic but still my stories from life kept bubbling to the surface. As any writer will tell you, it's mighty difficult to ignore the story trying to get out from inside you. They usually find a way of getting told one way or another.

Explaining to you why I write would take too long; I can tell you why I write this blog. While I'm wrestling children and drafting stories I find myself needing higher ground. The blog is like a great, lush, green tree that overlooks the whole island. The waters surrounding are restless and often raging and occasionally the tide pulls me out, leaving me breathless and dazed. When I write on this space I am lifted up and can fill my lungs. I make sense of the world from up here. I also find my voice hanging above me in the sky and if I'm here long enough I am able to decipher it among the cacophony of the rest of the world. Up here I can reach out and claim it.

Writing this blog may not calm the waters but it does clear the waters. This space provides a light above my head.

Clearly this blog is for me so why should you read it? I don't know. I wish I could say. I certainly want you to read it but I can't extol the benefits of reading a blog written by a tired mom/unpublished writer. Still, I extend the invitation. I want to share this journey with you because no one wants to go it alone and I have a feeling that though our paths are different, our journeys are connected. “Nobody’s story is written only by himself. In our story, we can always find the stories written by others!” That is the burden and blessing of being a human family: we are a part of one another.

The blank page beckons. Won't you join me?

Happy reading, dear reader,

Natasha